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Who You Are?


Memory Loss ... loss of memories ... important, perhaps, to the subject ...



But for an outsider to that person, because no matter.







Chapter 1 .- Encuentros.











some time ago, I met a girl named Miku Helene. I suppose that it is all woman ... Her parents, one Japanese and one German.



The father worked the whole day, was just 3 hours a day to live with his little family.



Mrs.?, A beautiful housewife, a splendid host to guest as they had at home. Unfortunately it was just a disguise ... he was very depressed. In one of many meetings I had with Helen, told me that his mother always tried to commit suicide behind his father, had already told many times, the lady who always called "Honda-san," came to attempt suicide four times and the strange thing is that, were the seven of every month. Never wanted to tell, or Helene, and Honda-san ... until one day, that I can comment later.







Miku, Miku Helene ... The most difficult patient, restless, creative and outgoing and known ... and treated.



His father is a friend of mine, studied at the Universität Hamburg. "







I'm not German, was born in London England. My mother was French, a beautiful woman named Cosette Renaut, and my father was English, a man who gave his life to work and family called Elliott Rumsfeld. My mother told me she spent Christmas in England, because he had relatives there. One day he left home to buy some ingredients for Christmas dinner, turned the corner and wait for the pedestrian traffic lights changed to green ... Just in that short time, he heard a violin being played so beautifully fine and that he turned to see who was the man or woman ... Fortunately, he was a man, skinny and ugly my mother said, but I never believed him, because if it had been so, had not even thought of marrying him. They had one son, they called Rumsfeld Neo Neo ... Renaut.



I came to Germany at the age of twenty years ... My father had gotten a job here and my mother had heard of an academy of gastronomy, which wanted to enter. The two descidieron move from one country to enroll at the University of Hamburg. So it was that in a blink of an eye had left England, I said goodbye to my family, my friends and well ... everything.







Eysembach met Heller (Helen's father) shortly after entering the university. Even not mastered the language well, and few could understand English perfectly.



One day, Heller approached the bank where I was sitting, he greeted me, introduced himself and then asked me if I spoke German, which I said no.







- Ok, so ... can you speak Inglish? - I asked quickly.



- Yes, i can ... I said .. I'm Inglés .-







He just smiled and started talking and talk. At that time, Heller was studying a law degree, was very optimistic, cheerful and everything an athlete, being in the team of soccer and swimming.



Soon we became very good friends. Helped me to understand perfectly the German, invited me to football and convinced me to register for the swim team. We were very close, the whole school we always saw them together, they said we were like brothers, but some laughed to hear that ... You could see the big difference between Heller and I km.



He is tall, as six feet seven. I am of average height, one meter seventy-three. The TES is tanned, curly blond hair and blue eyes. I'm white, ebony black hair brittle and greyish eyes.







one day started talking about why we chose the race we were studying ... He told me that his father was a judge and he loved all that was political. Heller said that since childhood, had seen his father read books feel about politics, and only once went to court, where his father was Judge. He said that only one was enough to know that this had to be his work.



Mr. Eysembach was a man old enough now, as I had said Heller, had 8 children, including him, almost twice her age my parents. He had lived at the time of World War II, was very much against the Nazi political party, it was a waste, a dictatorship that the end of the day was going to end up being destroyed. At that time, only Heller's father was a practicing lawyer, judge and yet was still not finish their studies. He could do nothing to punish the men of the SS and that he was very angry ...







- My father told me once that if at that time had been a powerful judge, had ordered all these officers, soldiers ...- thought-va!, I'm saying. .. these men were not! - he paused, "I said he had sent to the gallows immediately. or locking them in prison for life.







After a long pause, Heller turned to me intently, brow Senoy said







-Neo ... and fuck you because you chose a career like Psychology?, Come on, that waste of time, laughed a little.



"Well ... I still can not tell you exactly, but ... I had an uncle who had a type of disorder. Comes to visit about three times a madhouse, and there was a Doctor who, my parents always pedíaa that I stay with him, there was something traumante for children, see the types of behavior that had many patients around ...- I paused and continued So, when I was with him, began to talk of many things, he was a child, but ... well understood that helped people.



- Pff ... Neo, Neo, Neo ...- Heller said when she moved her head in a negative way that will make you wrong, "mocked-tone n "Well ... I guess there must be another thing that interested you not? - Rolled his eyes in exasperation.



- Well, actually, no esque. Happily ever and again to be with someone who has a disorder or manía- cruzé mis brazos y sonreí- Solo se que me gusta y que quiero ayudar a ese tipo de personas...- voltee a verle- Podrías ser tú en un futuro amigo!- reí y le di unas palmadas en el hombro.



- Claro!, claro!- comenzó a reír fingidamente- Creeme Rumsfeld...Jamás voy a necesitar a un Psicologo, en mi vida!...me oyes?- sonrió de lado, suspiro y después se levantó del banco en el que estabamos- El día que te llame para que me des una de esas terapias, es porque mi vida es una basura...











It's been twenty-five, twenty-five long years of not seeing my friend Heller.



We had gathered on three occasions after we graduated from university. The first was the day his father died, and I was joining them in their pain, though, I always was impressed by the coolness of Heller esque truth or did not shed a tear when he was at the funeral, it really had become a grown man.



The second was the day they invited me to his wedding, he told me he had gone to Japanandthe stayed there about two months, since I had a case to attend ... In college, there was a Japanese boy named Kenichi Ishida, was on the team knew there natacióny Heller. Kenichi had a problem in his native Japan, he had been charged with robbery and attempted rape. Kenichi Heller decided to call off his lawyer, and that's how I get there. Three weeks later, I said it met a nice young man, who lived in the same departments that he, his name was Yumiko Honda. He had asked her out several times until finally the young man agreed. So the days passed, fell in love, lasted two long years as a couple y. .. finally popped Heller. With all the joy of the world, attended the wedding, looked really happy, and that gave me a taste for Heller. The third time was 5 years ago, the day when I spoke to him really desolate and informed him that my parents had died in a car accident ... I noticed that her voice was whispering something melancholy and began to cheer and say that indeed would be at the funeral, that a friend is not left alone in this class situations. I had no other, than to live in Germany and get a job to support me food and clothing, they soon realized that he was alone, he might return to England when I've done a little older. ..







And it was ... I am now 47 years old.



I returned from a conference on "antisocial behavior" and other disorders that occurred in New York. I decided to settle in Germany and visiting a few relatives I have in England at Christmas, as did my mother.



I came home and found thousands of letters across the door, thirty-four messages on the answering machine and a window with broken glass, because of a baseball ... Apparently Living in a neighborhood where there are so many kids playing who knows how many things can cause such accidents. Tome fist of cards and put them on the table, I carved my eyes and I decided to listen to messages on the answering machine. The first do not take into account, since only hung out and left nothing ... apart from the number thirteen, the messages were of promotions and other cucherias. Reaching almost to the last message he heard a familiar voice ...







-Rumsfeld! ... What, so long, I hope you remember me, I Heller ... I wanted to ask a favor, call your office but it seems that you're out of travel often n informed me in charge of the departments there. Well, I call you in two days.







raised an eyebrow impressed, really Heller had called me to ask a favor?, True or not, I heard the following message, where as I called ...







- Néo ... It's me again, I think I still do not reach for your journey, I want to get well ... I'll call you tomorrow, but really need to talk ... thanks.







Su voz se notaba desesperada, como si no encontrarme fuera de vida o muerte...Pasé al otro recado y acto seguido, tomé mi libreta de direcciones para buscar su telefono...







- Néo, me informan que llegas mañana, pero creo que no podré llamarte, si puedes, hazlo tú...Si perdiste mi número, te lo daré de nuevo...8545621, de nuevo gracias...







La contestadora marcaba la fecha del 16 de Octubre cuando recibí ese mensaje, y había llegado el 20 de ese month. I felt terrible having not reached in time. I continued with the following message, but this was no longer Heller, was from another patient, which I had canceled his appointment with him. In my address book, phone Heller had changed ... I heard the last post again to score the new number, and then started dialing.



spent two rings ... then 3 and so on, until he began to recite his voice mail message ...:







"Hi, you speak Eysembach Family, for the moment we can not answer, leave a message and call you back home ...- For a moment I thought about hanging up and leave it until it was night, but something inside me told me that Heller really needed my help.



on the answering machine I left a message informing you that I was back in Germany and we could see us whenever he wanted, since I did not copromisos with anyone ...







The night was too fast this ... I'd say, but of course contemblando schedule changes so sudden I guess it must have been normal. I did not leave home that day, since Heller was afraid to call me back and had not been there. Walking through the kitchen, my bedroom, living room, watching the phone, but that did not work to make it sound. My Clock "Cuckoo" began to ring ... went 8, 9, 10, 11 little bird chirps that out. Personally, cuckoo clocks I've never liked by the scandal that made every 30 minutes, but, these being from Germany, not having one, mean absolute rares, plus it I could not throw it away because it was a gift from my old friends to welcome me to this country.



was ready to sleep and leave the slope of Heller morning, when, finally, the strong and throaty sound of the phone was present. I went to answer it quickly. I picked up the phone and the handset to my ear, strange screams began to hear the other side.







- Hello ?...- answered.



- Néo!, Are you? - Answered



- Heller!, Friend?, Then where are you? ... In an asylum or something? - Laughed a little.



"No, no ... heh heh, "laughed falsely, I'm home, I just listen to the message and came to yours, thanks for answering.



- You're welcome, I regret not having been here since the first time you call, but because so many cries?.



- Well, I wanted to tell you the truth esque ...- was a long pause, gulped and sighed loudly is Helene, lately ... well, several years ago behaves in a brutal way ... let's go to school, from one moment to another is released to recite things and shouting, desperate, depressed-he heard a groan of annoyance-Neo, you must help , I never imagined that I would tell you this .. in my life - she sighed, but I see that it always gives twists ...



- Heller, of course I'll help, calm down a moment, okay? - Massage my eyelids and sighed "look, I have no consultations this week, you can find me in the office tomorrow, I'll talk to Helene , okay? - I heard a slight whimper from Heller's "Hey, hey, you okay?



- Yes, yes, everything is fine ... do not worry Néo .- quickly said

- It's good occasionally mourn friend, I will not criticize you or mofarme if you want to ...

- Néo Please do not talk nonsense, indeed, breath and cleared his throat ... I'm fine, I just worried about my daughter, I will see tomorrow yeah?

- Perfect, promptly at 12, apparently I have a lot to talk to your daughter, "I hear another cry I said to the girl.

- Thanks ...- Néo last two words were heard to whisper ... and then hung up.



The night I spent that time ... it was one of the shortest one that I've had, unfortunately, since eh always said that dreams are sacred, apart from a bad mood always awake when Sorry I did not sleep enough ... but that day I did one exception, the daughter of my best friend was about to visit me in my office, which incidentally, was a few blocks of the department.

I got out of bed and walked straight to the bathroom, washed my face, I arranged the clothes that I would use that N'Diaye had breakfast after I did the whole circus.

felt a strange heaviness in my body, as if you were carrying a large rock in the back, but I thought maybe it was because he had spent one night too short.

I turned the knob on the front door, opened it wide and I felt the cold blizzard of the corridor. I closed the door again, and locked my way to the stairs and got in a hurry. I looked at my watch and realized it was not so late, was only half an hour to be able to fix all the paperwork, and other trinkets in my office. I found the home of the departments and very friendly welcomed me and gave thanks to embers well ...



- Doctor, I really am glad you have returned, coughed a few times and then smiled a big smile.

- I'm glad you've decided to quit for a while Lady - smiled and patted on the back

- I see that you have passed the neighbors gossip eh? - laughed a little.

- I say this because the air we breathe in this place no longer has the smell of snuff-Breathe deeply and followed him out

- Both the environment was so Doctor?, Too bad, no, no, ...- no shook his head, glad I could leave this vice

- And all who know you rejoice as I smiled back "Well, I have a patient waiting for me at the office y. ..

- Oh! sure, sure! ... do not stop by my Doctor, go with god ...- stepped aside to let me go-go ... go ...

- M "Thank you, Madam, I'll see more Later, I made a small bow and went for quick passage of the place.



walked a few steps and turned right ... The streets of Germany in the autumn-winter days seem not life, the trees of the avenues look greyish and more so with the fog that always comes up in the morning, I set my sights on a building could be seen from a distance where I was, my office was on the second floor of that building, closer and just a block from there, I saw a car parked in front, I felt a bit strange or, puesto que estaba una persona dentro, cruzé la cera y paré en seco al ver al mismisimo Heller sentado ahí, hablando no se que con alguién en el asiento trasero, supuse que era Helene.
Pestañie varias veces al ver lo cambiado que estaba mi amigo, no parecía él...no era Heller, no era ese joven atletico en la Universidad, no era ese Señor que había visto antes...su cabello risado y rubio ya presentaba incontables canas, su herguida postura ya era la de un camello, sus ojos azules y llenos de vida ahora solo reflejaban lo estresado y cansado que estaba siempre. Caminé de nuevo y después 3 small steps, Heller had turned his gaze towards me, raised an eyebrow and grinned.

- Néo!, Old old friend! - Heard when exiting the car and closed
- Heller, but ... you changed! - Cleared my throat.
- Oh, c'mon, c'mon ... I'm in the worst conditions now, "he patted my back and walked to the back door of the car-look Néo, meet ...- took air and spoke in an English settlement, to my dear daughter, "laughed a bit Heller
- It's not funny when you know perfectly well that even I have that British asentito I said, laughing.
- Okay, okay Neo, you just do not want to break the tradition, patted me on the back but hey I want you to meet my beautiful daughter ...
- Oh, of course, Helene, let me see-double my neck to look more closely at the rear window.
- Neo ... I present to Miku Helene-opened the door wide and gestured for the girl to come out ...

few small black shoes looked out and jumped up the wax, blue eyes dark is turned to look directly into mine, his eyebrows were slightly furrowed, her perfectly toned skin climate that made that day, looked like a ghost, a ghost with carmine lips. She wore a black and white dress, transparent mesh, her hair was really long and black, made her look like a porcelain doll in a cupboard, and even more, because almost no flange EABA.

- Hello Helene, came early to our appointment I smiled and walked over to her.
- Morning ... you, my father, the world, flowers and trees around us, it would be more polite and Doctor? - I replied without showing any expression.
- Sure, I think that's the correct way of greeting, if not scream or want to draw the attention of everyone, not Helene? - I put my hand on his shoulder.
- I do not know, I always do well and I think that no one was affected there was a step back, removing my hand from his shoulder
- Helene!, Who shouted rude Heller Dr. Neo just want to help y. ..
- Quiet Heller, no big deal, "I interrupted - I think that Helene has her reasons for not wanting to touch her, I went back to the girl went inside and I offer a cup of tea ... or cookies? - The girl then and outline flashing a big smile aha, that you like the cookies.
- Just because I do not want to be rude, under the eyes and blushed a little, I do not want Dad to tell me again why I do not want!, I will not!, It always does!, Always scream, I want to be alone!, I will not cry!
- B-sufficient and Helene! - Cried to see the reaction Heller
her daughter - is not that you scream Heller also have to be patient ... y. ..
- eh I lost all I had with her and her mother, I'm tired ... tired Néo! - In a fit of desperation, Heller took the girl's arm and started screaming in hate-stop scream, do the same at home and now here?!
- witsi witsi up its web spider! the rain came and took her !!!...- Helene began singing in a tone burlóny grotesque.

as bipolar attitude de Helene me sorprendió bastante, sabía perfectamente como aparentar ser tan callada y educada, y de un momento a otro, comportarse como una niña berrinchuda que solo pide a gritos lo que quiere...y está vez, solo fue, que su padre no le gritara más. Creí que el único problema de Helene eran cambios de actitud y personalidad, pero pasado el tiempo, descubrí que, aparte de poder tener una esquisofrenia, podía estar padeciendo de muchos más transtornos...que pensé yo, algún día, la hiban a hacer padecer.